Wednesday, August 31, 2011

funny when you're dead

people start listenin'

I've had experience with that lately

heard this song twice on the radio for the first time
the video is really cool
since I'm a photographer, I was trying to pay attention to the filming
and how hard it would to get somewhere with film
well, this person did a great job
I'm not a country fan, but I like this song

today was a little less stressful
because I told myself that I should feel blessed rather then stressed
then I prayed, a few times

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

listening to them lately

today was stressful
but tonight was relieving
I really like my coworkers
most of them, that is
I need to be that free spirit again, that people say I am...

instead of being upset about school
I need to be thankful that I'm in school
I need to dig deep and find my passion, again

today I affirmed that nothing makes me feel better then a little Bon Iver
can't wait to see him on the 19th and 20th

Sunday, August 28, 2011

i just want to curse

but I won't

you'll find me at church, school, work and at home cutting up magazines. goodbye.

i've been too heavy

Friday, August 26, 2011


I feel like I've lost my





I did a photoshoot with Brianna the other day but it felt so incredibly forced. Every time I enter these long phases, I feel like I am never going to get my inspiration back...but I always do. Maybe I've been so burnt out on photoshoots? Yes, but also I was to do photoshoots for BIG things...not just myself anymore.

I need the right person to come across my path. I feel like I've been trying, but getting no where

Maybe I should pray to God, but I'm curious if that's a selfish prayer. I'm not sure, but I'm yearning for something bigger and better.

ever since my trip

my last one is always be in prayer, but I feel I've been lacking. I was to lay everything on God but I don't know what to pray for lately...

Matthew 7:7Ask, and it will be given to you seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.

Matthew 21:22 And whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith.”

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

deep thinkers, shallow mind sets

I've erased
and rewrote
and erased
and rewrote

I feel like I can't blog anymore
ever since my trip, I've been jounaling
where no one can see
because that is how it's been lately
I've been really thinking about all the shallow mind sets
I can't do it anymore, I can't be around you

let me tell you, I love my friends NOT because they're models or pretty
I love their souls, stictly.

let me tell you, I've prayed for 2 people to leave my mind and my thoughts. they both entered my life at the same time, in complete different areas. they both were amazing, but only one has left my mind. dear other one, please leave.

last night I felt in love at bible study

some things I learned lately is too enjoy the moment I'm in now
to appriciate my parents, my home and my friends even more

so I think I have decided about college. I want to get my degree in photography...then I want to go to San Francisco and study nutrition. I'm not going to pass up my dream to go to college. BUT I'm going to pray and have God take me wherever he wants me.

hey guys, heaven is for real

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Isaiah 40:31

But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength

They will soar like eagles

They will run and not grow weary

They will walk and not be faint

I feel like crying

When I shouldn't be
Today my laptop broke
A couple weeks ago I bow a new and really expensive camera
Lately ive have been trying to stay stronger in my faith
But lately I've been having some struggles;
With myself and the world around me
I'm staying strong though, I think
I just want God to take me where ever he wants me
And I need to remember that this world is only temporary
And material possessions are only temporary

Life is hard, and I'm gonna struggle
I just need to learn to work harder and keep the faith

In Matthew 6: 25-34 it talks about how we should not worry about what we eat or drink or wear because our heavenly father will take care of us in the end. I hold is verse very dear to me because I am a big worrier about everything. Just not even an hour ago my laptop broke and I had to remember immediately that verse. My best friend Brianna is a big blessing to me as well because she is my sister in Christ and we always uplift each other...Megan recently too.

Another verse I read a few hours ago is Matt 7:7 which says "ask and it will be given to you, seek and you will find, knock on the door and it will be basically I need to learn to start praying more wisely, not only for myself but for the people I care about as well as the people who need it the most.

Right now, I'm in Santa Cruz visiting my uncle and adventuring. I've been hitting the gym hard, walking around town, going to the beach , site seeing and shopping (which I shouldn't anymore if I'm going to buy a new laptop)....I really miss my friends right now but I'm doing things that I normal wouldn't do so it's pretty cool. I've been writing in a journal everyday as well as taking photos of everything I do. So I'm going to be posting blogs later!

Have a good night, friends

Sunday, August 14, 2011

you're probably second guessing
about these posts
but I think you know
you're still on my mind, friend

I want to update you and say God is doing amazing things
all I want to do is be consumed by God right now
my best friends, amazing bible verses, learning experiences and some good music

Friday, August 12, 2011

all natural

right now it's 1:30 pm and I'm sitting here watching "extreme cribs" on MTV while editing some wedding photos I took this last saturday. I usually never watch TV but today I turned it on and one of the homes was on acres and acres of land and it was a "sustainable home" basically every part of the home was made strictly from the earth and every part benefits the when they take a bath, the bath water drains into the garden and they even use sustainable soaps that feed the plants.

I want a home like that
and it is really beautiful ...all the artchiteture and what not

anyway, I can't post the photos from the wedding yet because I haven't recieved my compensation yet so I've been working on them...but I guess I can show you a sneak peak

Monday, August 8, 2011

weight it coming off, soaring high

Once you get the feeling
It wants you back for more
It says it’s gonna heal again
You won’t make the call
One step back, you’re leaving it
Now it’s moving on
Why won’t you believe in it
Until it’s gone

Friday, August 5, 2011

masonry of modern dealings

sometimes I have these really big impulses to write
Justin Vernon inspires me completely
I don't think I can ever handle a broken heart
the days are feeling longer
I wish I didn't feel so much

last night we pulled an all nighter
yesterday I went to griffith observatory
last night I missed last summer
yesterday I kept myself really active and healthy
last night I dwelled on what I don't have
yesterday I spent with my soul sister
last night I received a good answer, but not one I wanted to hear

this always happens
I need to grow

I miss something I thought was something else but I thought to myself why would God grant me something amazing if I wasn't praising him in the first place? I said I was, and I believed...but I was showing it in my life. Now I am. I never want to drift off. I want to stay strong, forever. I keep yearning for each sunday.

are you scared to death that it's the end? yes

and the symmetry of dreams and feelings, is the imagery of love in the air
it's above the code

Thursday, August 4, 2011


I don't know how I feel about them but me and my friends were talking about them last night and how each of us are so much like our horoscopes so I went online and read a little more about mine. I am a Libra. It's crazy how every single characteristic defines me:

I want a partner who fulfills my physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual needs.
I always see both sides of the story.
Art and beauty are very important to me.
I don't let myself get too needy.
Marriage is sacred to me.
I value commitment in relationships.
I like to keep things balanced.
I don't like to go overboard with anything.
I would rather yield to others than fight.
I value harmony with others very highly.
I value mental activity very highly.
I love people.
I don't get caught up in thinking, "It's not fair!"
When good things happen for others, I am happy for them. I don't get caught up in wishing they were happening to me.
I enjoy refined tastes and the nicest things.
I feel both masculine and feminine.
I like it when things are light-hearted.
I know that you should hold out for the perfect partner.
I like to keep a smile on my face.
I don't like negative energy.
I can be very persuasive.
I am instinctually diplomatic.

beautiful day, beautiful life

bike rides
bible study

later I had another bible study with my two best friends Megan and Brianna. I want to dedicate my life to God, guys. Put everything else aside, and live for God. Let him guide me and teach me. So many things have been flowing through my brain. It's a day by day process

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." matt:6:34

Monday, August 1, 2011

i keep my wings strapped back
i keep my heart in a jar

[ps.last night of nights like these]

ready to give it all back, because I'm been taking too much
ready to do this
maybe i'm being forced, or just a little pushed
but so what
to be honest with you, dear reader, I'm confused on life. On almost every aspect of it. I'm a little lost. This always happens when I come back to the church.

Yeah, yesterday I spent the day in church. It's already changing me.

as of July 31st