Friday, September 30, 2011

"life is a lot like surfing....

because if you get caught in the impact zone you've got to get back up because you never know what may be over the next wave.

she wants to be free, like a runway

we're to young to hold this all on our own

Nobody knows the trouble we’ve seen
And nobody knows the price of this dream
And nobody knows what it took to believe


I just watched soul surfer about 5 minutes ago. It's 2:13 am. I ran upstairs because I needed to blog about it...I'm absolutely shocked!
it was amazing
the filming, the message, the passion and soul

I'm in love with that movie
please all watch it, it's a true story
you will feel changed
I think God told me what I should be doing with my life through this movie.
Just to serve God all my life.
and I hope he brings me a great husband because that family was absolutely beautiful and I want my family to be like that. I've been thinking about it too much...meh I'm so young. I still have many many adventures to go on till then!

I feel like I belong in Hawaii


Wednesday, September 28, 2011

I've realized that usually I'm never IN a situation just living and having fun, I'm always on the out skirts thinking about the situation I am in therefor not living life to the fullest potential
but I do enjoy life and have a good time
just a above average then your average thinker

I turned 19, two days ago! it was fun
megan took me to sushi, we went on an adventure and then we went to bible study

here is what I've been up to! I've been learning a lot lately (OH YEAH, AND BON IVER 2 NIGHTS IN A have no idea, I've been waiting for this for 2 years since the sunrise show!)

Sunday, September 25, 2011

keep you head up, heart strong, mind set

I spent my time, watching
The spaces that have grown between us.
And I cut my mind on second best,
Oh the scars that come with the greenness.
And I gave my eyes to the boredom,
Still the seabed wouldn't let me in.
And I try my best to embrace the darkness
In which I swim.

Friday, September 23, 2011

this is all I want to listen to

and if it's not playing, I feel tense


Bekka & I are in there in there, somewhere
I'm still blown away I was so close

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

i'm never satisfied

I guess I really just don't know what I want to do in my life
so far, I've gotten by really smoothly
and I know, I'll always have a job or some sort of creative income
but when it comes to college and studying,
I'm still not satisfied
and I can't keep trying a bunch of things because that is wasting time
but really, I don't know what I want to study

another thing is that I feel there is too much clutter in my life
I gave away a bunch of clothes
but there's still no room
I need to paint my room
and rearrange it
maybe even rearrange my life
so far I love God, photoshooting (weddings/fashion), creating, capturing souls, healthy food/nutrition, church, people.

I want to find peace. I've been feeling that God wants me to go on a mission trip lately. Dear Lord, please please show me where you need me in life

miracles, answered prayers

too consumed, not knowing, drumz, blessings, faded luck. this week thus far has been real, rawtoo consumed, not knowing, drumz, blessings, faded luck. this week thus far has been real, raw

lately has been great!
here are some polaroids of the past few days

Friday, September 16, 2011

cosmic soul searchin'

last night I felt uninspired
today I felt inspired

after standing on the other side of the line, with Bri...instead of having our back faced in the opposite direction we realized that we were simply unsatisfied. we prayed, hard and studied hard. it worked. the night ended in peaceful conversation and repentance

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

mo·rass noun \mə-ˈras, mȯ-\

1. a situation that traps, confuses, or impedes
2. a confusing mass or mixture

I took this photo on a large format 4x5 camera, and printed it myself in the darkroom.

this didn't have meaning until I created it. I feel that me, as well as my friends are in a rush to grow up and have our careers I feel surrounded by this overwhelming power to be successful and to get somewhere in life. I've been stressed over school and trying to get a photography degree that I'm missing out on the joy of everyday living. I'm stressed over not getting photography jobs every second and missing that I have been successful already and sometimes there is down time to relax. My co worker Kristen made a great point to me when we were talking about trying to get school out of the way and on to our career...she said that if you think about when we were 16 to now that we have accomplished a lot and we are in a better state as an adult then we were back then. SO true...honestly when I was 16 I had not been a photographer for that long and probably had had my very first job. No real job, and still in highschool. I've come a long way and it made me realize and slow down that I'm ALMOST 19 years old (12 days!!!) and I'm in school on a way to a degree so I should be thankful and proud of myself...not down on myself.

I just want to climb, and get to the top...but if I'm impatient I'll just fall off

God will lead me where he needs me.

song of the week: Wash Bon Iver
countdown to his concert(s): 4 AND 5 days!!!!!

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

majors pt.2

so I posted a blog about majors a few months back, and I chose one finally. It's photography...surprised?

I am, sort of.

I'm still not all that content with it, completely. I'm not in love with it. of course, I love photography and doing MY thing but definitely not SCHOOLS thing.

but I realized with any major you choose, IT WILL BE HARD. I don't like "hard", honestly. I like the easy way out...but I can't back out now because I have already started digging into this major.

I still have a passion for nutrition though...

something about photography pisses me off, and I don't know what. there is definitely unmutual bitter feelings.

if you see me on my own,

drive on

Saturday, September 10, 2011

wedding pt 2

my cousins: molly, me, jenn, heather and shane
my cousin molly, we grew up together and we are only like 9 months apart. love her!
and my mother <3

wedding pt 1. failed plan

My aunt got married today! it was so fun! family, new family new friends, catch ups, good food, good music, biblical conversations, dancing, photobooth, etc

these were supposed to be there thank you cards, but the film came out really now it just looks kinda cool

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

we love nature

silly day, yet productive day

Monday, September 5, 2011

music and magazines

lately, I've been cutting up magazines and listening to a whole bunch of music

This is why we fight- Decemberists
Come together- The Beatles
Florescent adolescent- Arctic Monkeys
Black like me- Spoon
M76- Vampire Weekend
Say yes- Elliot Smith
Piazz, new york catcher- Belle and Sebation
Carolina- Benjamin Gibbard
Michicant- Bon Iver

San Francisco 8/20-22

AT LAST! a trip to San Francisco. I've been told for years now "Jessica, you belong in San Francisco". Over and over, yet I have never been. My good friend Cameron lives up there, so when I knew I was going to visit my Uncle in Santa Cruz...I made sure that I was going to make a trip to SF.

I took a train up there
I got on one train
transfered to a bus
and transfered to another underground train
ended up in the pit of China Town, with no word of English
I came to far on the bus, so I had to find my way around
with a heavy bag on my shoulder and a map in my hand
it was quite an adventure, a 3 hour one

I made it eventually. Spent 3 days with Camerons rediculosly cool roomates, and other friends. Bobby, Dawn, Ana, Gina, Ginas BF, Danielle, Trevon, and Cayvon. (I think that's all). My favorite part of the trip was when we had taco night...everyone got together and all made tacos and played taboo afterwords. We also went to coffee shops, into the city, coit tower, lombart and haight street, some of those famous bridges and parks, sushi, and other places.

I loved SF, but I didn't spend enough time there to figure if that is the place I want to live. For now, So Cal is my home and where I am most content.

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Santa Cruz (august 15-19)

ate at soo many different resturants
went on a plane by myself for the first time
worked out a lot
walked around town, down town
read the bible, meditated
red woods, ocean views, lighthouses
museums, aquariums, tourist shops
gardens, piers, bays

here are just SOME of the photos: