8 days ago

January 29th 2014 pt.2

today was a pretty cool day filled with a lot of events but my favorite part was roaming Franklin Village, eating raw vegan food and reading parts of a book on loneliness

AM:

PM:

January 29th 2014 pt. 1

It's almost as I should be washed away with some kind of pain, worse than the pain I felt weeks ago. It's night now, and I wash my face with my leathery raw skin attached to my anxiety bitten nails- a rare feeling. I always know when something isn't right when I bite my nails or if I'm somewhere I don't belong.
It's night, still, and I'm overcome with a numb feeling- a feeling I've felt for 30 hours or so. I can't feel anything but it's so peaceful but at the same time I'm constantly questioning these moments as if they are real, or when will this wear off.
It's like I've been injected medicine and I'm so numb from it that I'm happy but I can't feel a thing.

January 28 2014

traveling our own city
figuring out how to love life long
adjectives and languages and magnetic impulses

January 25th 2014

colors

I've been feeling as if I need to take pictures
but I don't have the feeling of wanting to do it
lately, I've been focusing on my needs; listening to my mind body and soul
I have endless ideas for shoots but no drive
I'm happy

Michael Kiwanuka

today started off with useless wandering, to work, to an awesome adventure around Silverlake with Megan

there are so many adventures I need to be going on

 

Gregory Alan Isakov

Ugh, Today was beautiful. Started off at M Street Cafe where I had a nice coffee and got some photo work done. After I went on to work- oh yeah, I got a waitressing job. Just for fun because I was getting restless and bored of this freelance....which happens to work out perfectly so I can save up for Sweden, Iceland and wherever else I will be traveling too.-- OH YEAH, I'm going on a mission trip! to I don't even know where yet but I'll be flying into Stockholm Sweden the first week in April :)
Anyway, I went on to work. I love my job. Being a waitress is super cool, I am a really fast worker which makes me natural at it plus I have always wanted to be one as a child. I also feel that this job of a server is preparing me for this trip, in a odd way. Weird, I know. After I did a few errands, got another coffee and went to the Wilshire Ebell Theatre to see Gregory Alan Isakov! I went alone, which ended up being super nice and perfect. From start to finish the experience was amazing, the theatre was so beautiful, Greg was the opening band which was cool because I didn't have to be tired by the time he went on but it was also a bummer because he didn't play that long...but man oh man, he was amazing! It was my second time seeing him. I really love his music.
It's funny though, while I was sitting in the show I was realizing how nothing about my life is slow (like I mentioned I am a fast worker) besides my favorite type of music. Honestly, I don't know many people who genuinely like my taste in music which is fine because it's such a personal thing.
Whatever.
I also realized how everyone was so much older than me. This is a pattern in my life. It's weird, I thought by the time I would be in my 20's, the people surrounding me would eventually catch up and be my age but they just keep getting older. Do I like old people things or what?
Oh well.
I'm also in a weird phase right now where I find myself with a lot of alone time. I mean, I work A LOT (I've had the job for a good month now) but every time I try to schedule something with someone, it never works out. It's been a continuous pattern for a couple weeks now. It's actually quite strange.  I almost feel like it's meant to be. I FEEL that God is having this happen for a reason- which makes me semi okay because otherwise I will just feel a little down about it. Sometimes I think that since I'm going on this great adventure for 4 months, this alone time is crucial and I should embrace it.
I also have like 5 books I need to finish within the next month. Well, essentially I don't HAVE to, but it's just a little self challenge.
Also my interests don't seem to match up with anyone around me.
I've been feeling a lot. I've been sensing the world before my eyes much stronger.
Anyway, a few things I want to accomplish before I go on this missions trip is to make a food photography portfolio, to wake up early, to go to Portland & Seattle and SHOW as many people as I can that I love them.
But yes, I kind of got off on a long tangent but today was awesome. I love Gregory Alan Isakov.

Volcano Choir

 

Short hair

I'm much happier this way. My long hair wasn't me- within it held too much of the past. I'm glad it is gone.

sk8

Untitled

Over flowing

Life has been filled with coincidental moments at more than interesting times. Life's timing lately is perfect, on point and answering prayers in cool ways

On my way home I was thinking two things; 

1. The valley is sort of like a little village- yes it's big, but I ALWAYS see people I know

2. about Jesse and Brianna

seconds later I see Jesse and Brianna on the side of Reseda Blvd...at the perfect moment in time. what are the odds? I love these souls 

Bully's Billiards

3 weeks shy of 2 years old

2014

Transform me into a vortex
whe mere my distorted view is restored
and my soul needs not to conform
Drift breaths of strength into
loosen all the fears that may bind me
all the "I cants" and "I'm not good enough"
or the "maybe later" and the "I'm afraid"
See not what the world has made of me
but how I've been created to be
Bring to light all of the seared edges
that I no longer hurt with these torn pieces
but give hope with the part of me which gleams
No longer will I stumble into the serenity of slumber
but shall I conquer with courage
To dig deeper, climb higher and reach for the stars
New year
No fear