Thursday, June 6, 2013


this morning I woke up and went to get my oil changed, walked in the place and talked to the girl who is always there...telling me about how she has this camera and she always tries to take pictures of her cats and dogs, but never likes how color turns out so she likes the black and white setting, but if she uses the black and white setting then she can't use the animal and kids setting and how she feels stuck because both settings make the pictures turn out differently.
She has told me this story before, but I nod and smile and tell her she can use the animal and kids setting and then just convert the photos to black and white when she is on the computer.
She keeps talking and all I really want is to walk down to the street to starbucks so I can finish up some of my work. I felt stuck in conversation. I also felt selfish for not being interested at all in what she was saying.
Eventually I left and I was walking to starbucks, that many people who I know work and walk into that specific starbucks and how I would most likely see someone.... I was thinking of who I might see, what feelings I have towards that person. Do I act like I see them? or do I just stay completely focused in on my work. I start to think about how so many people I know still live in the valley, have average valley jobs, do average valley things, hang with people from the valley, hate the valley, love the valley, valley valley valley.
As much as I love the valley, I don't want to be here any longer. I have great friends, I always have awesome adventures, I take good pictures in the valley. My whole life has revolved around here minus the small part of my life consumed in Santa Monica.

UGHHHHHH, my mind feels.
I don't want to grow up and be here
I don't even want to grow another year and be there
I want greater adventures
feels greater feelings
meet great people
see great things

I just feel stuck on my next step in life
I have this photography career that I want to bloom and expand 100x more than what it is, I feel stuck in what to do
I have this wanderlust in my heart but I feel stuck on where to go....who to go with...when to go

I don't want to feel stuck any longer
Lord, please guide me

1 comment:

  1. Jack Lord thinks you should look for a photography job in Hawaii.