Tuesday, May 28, 2013

ever since my college counselor confirmed that I had completed over 60 units to receive my first college degree (AA in Photography), I've had this still and silence feeling of slight sadness that has grown stronger as the last week of school approaches me.

Earning a photography degree was incredibly awesome...humbling...eye opening...life learning...people accepting...friend making...and most importantly growth of myself.
I went into college not wanting to make any friends, nearly dropping out of photography in general and wanting to finish as S O O N as I could.
None of that happened.
In fact it was all the opposite.
....I'm attached....
this always happens to me... this is how I felt leaving highschool. College was the same as highschool; a small group of people who all know each other, talk about each other, revolve around each other in a sense. you know what teacher you're going to get for what class, and all of that.

College was exactly what I needed in this young stage of my life entering adulthood. It's all so weird now though, like leaving and this time not having a program or school to go to. It's just life now... it's finding work and doing your BEST! I hope I don't fail. I hope I am successful. People tell me I will be, but what is honestly up to me to decide. But of course I am going to be. Why would I not? so in 10 years when people asked me what I did with my life and all I can say is that I never accomplished my dreams. no....

Anyway today was just another little reminder about how a stage in my life is coming to an end. It was the last day of normal class. 2nd to last time I might see some of these people again. 2nd to last time I'll be at Santa Monica College- where I spent a lot of my energy, life, love, stress, happiness, tears, feelings of accomplishment for the past 3 years.

Standing up on the 9th floor (pictured) of my friends apartment and looking down at spread out  eucalyptus trees and watching humans as they frantically walk to or from wherever they may be going ....being reminded of how small we are and how big life is.

It's all so weird...

...and I hate goodbyes

whatever, at least I enjoyed today but it was all so melancholy 

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