stayed home sick, all day. got absolutely nothing done except I took some pictures and listened to Bon Iver.
I enjoyed myself actually.
I felt inspired.
Lately, my photography career is taking a turn. Yes, I love photography but I feel such more of a deeper person then to work with a camera for the rest of my life. Or a material item perhaps. I feel like with this photography class I am taking in college right now, it's waisting my time. I am not learning anything nor am I enjoying anything in that class- well besides my friends in that class ;) I also feel this photography world is full of self-righteous people and people that are constantly trying to be better then one another. I feel it's making me become more shallow and materialized with trying to say up to what it requires from you. I am not down for that. People have always told me I am going to make it big in the photography world, and sometimes I believe them but if that's how my life is going to go- I want it to find me...I don't want to struggle to become the best photographer. Time will tell, if I keep getting hired for jobs and what not. anyways, lately I am been so much in love with people and the world. Including human habits, what makes society what it is, etc. I want my ulitimate career to be something that changes people, where I make a difference in peoples lives. I want to deepen myself more and more.
I almost feel that people around me are more scared for me to find something else that I LOVE than I am.
I just want to experience life on my own, with no body telling me what I NEED to be doing.
dude, i totally feel you! i can tell people on FB were freaking out when you wrote that one post about not wanting to study photography... and i didn't understand why!!
ReplyDeletei mean, if you want to do something else with just AS MUCH vigor and excitement, then whats wrong with that?!
anyways... do what you love.
for me, that is human rights.
it might be that for you too :)
or maybe you might find a way to combine photography with human rights.